Last Day

Today marked the final day of my eight weeks of orientation. I met people who feel like family to me now. I have learned to live in community. I have prayed for the lost. I laughed with some South Asian ladies. I walked along the rainy streets of D.C. I learned an African dance. I worshipped in foreign languages. I have heard testimonies. I read a lot of books. I took a lot of notes. But most importantly, I have met with God.

On Cloud 9

Its official. I have my ticket. A whole new world awaits. Today I am on cloud nine. Today I remember my call. Today I can give up my own purposes, plans, and ambitions and accept His will for my life. Today I can hand over to God's keeping all of the people I love. Today I can trust that God will be glorified in my life, at any cost. I pray... that I can remember today on the days when I am on cloud zero.

Journal Entry

I am on a roller coaster of emotions. I feel overwhelmed at the lostness of the world and at the vastness of the task. I have to remember that God is not calling me to a task, or a people, but to Himself. I am reading a lot of stories about people who have given their lives for the Cause. And I feel... average. I don’t feel like a giant. Sometimes I turn to God. Sometimes I turn to Facebook. My devotion is mixed with idolatry. My faith is mixed with doubt. My courage is mixed with fear. I liked what one person said this week. They said "courage is not the absence of fear, courage is the laying aside of fear to obey God, trusting Him with the consequences." I am glad I serve the God who is big enough for all of this.