Bhardi Holi

The next morning I woke up to a party going on outside. Bhardi Holi or "Big Holi" is the day they use watercolors, water and paint. So its a little messier and crazier

Some of the ladies getting their groove on

I think maybe my shirt is ruined...

it was a great day to spend with neighbors and each other

Birthday Pictures

Some of my favorite folks here

Our dear Auntie...there are just no words...no words...

Having some fun playing Jenga

Mr L presented me with some flowers from his garden.

My Happy Birthday muffin

We went to my favorite place to eat

And all this partying got me all tuckered out so I took a nap

Oh....Swell....

Today I went back into the capital city for the day. It was time to see my dear neurologist again, Dr V. Its going on two months now that I am having this optic nerve swelling. The medicine doesn't seem to be working. Tomorrow I go back for some more tests.

We were not prepared to stay over night in the capital city. So, we made the trip back home to spend the night in our own beds and pack our bags. We will return to the capital city tomorrow for more day/days in the city.

I briefly sat with a neighbor this evening. She had been waiting for me, wondering what the doctor had to say. I honestly told her of my disappointment. A local holiday is coming up and I had hoped to spend it in M Town. I have plans for what I think my days should look like. But as I sat with her, I was reminded that this is the path that He has chosen for me. He is too wise to be mistaken.

Birthday Happenings

I had a both sweet and funny birthday this year. My camera can't upload pictures right now but hope to have funny pictures soon. Heather went out of her way to make sure my day was special. I was presented with a small bouquet of flowers and muffins at language class. In the evening, we all met together with our neighbors for a little party. We made them all put party hats on and it was pretty humorous. The evening ended with a game of Jenga. Go figure... they LOVED it! They really got into it and we really had fun together.

According to their custom here, you don't actually open presents in front of people. So, after everyone left, Heather and I sat together as I opened my gifts.

One card read:
I want to sing aloud
and tell everyone around,
how special is today,
only because its your birthday
(I think it was meant to be a poem)

I also received a coffee cup that had a picture of drunk cats on it. It read
"Oh..YOU...is always drunk...winee..."
(ummm..ok....)

So, all in all, it was a good day. It reminded me once again that my (drunk cat coffee) cup overflows!

Sleeping In

I started to get too big for my britches this week. I have been out and about more, meeting with people, making plans, practicing my Hindi. The advice of countless people saying 'take it easy' was getting pushed further and further back into the recesses of my memory. I went to bed at a normal time last night and quickly drifted off to sleep. I woke up this morning with the obnoxious DINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDONG of my doorbell. Which is...not my favorite sound to wake up to. Of course I was just going to roll over and ignore it as I usually do. But then I heard "catty!! didi!!catty!!" It was the frantic voices of my neighbor and house helper. I looked over at my clock. 11:45am!! I got out of bed, threw a dupatta on and went to the door. When I opened it, four worried faces looked at me with wide eyes. 'You were SLEEPING'? my neighbor asked me. "yeah..." I said rather sheepishly. "Did you take any pills last night"? "no..not for sleep.."I replied. She then went on to say that I had slept WAY to long and that she was worried about me. I turned to my house helper. "were you too worried too"? I asked. She did the head bobble and said "yes, I have been here since 11" "I'm sorry," I told everyone as the small group dispersed. My heart was touched at their genuine concern. For the first time ever, I was thankful for my doorbell.

Relationship Over Task

I have been enjoying my first week back here in M Town. There are so many things I want/need to do. But my energy level is limited. Once it is gone- it is gone. I don't want to get clear across town and then run out of steam. Could you imagine the scene? I would just have to sit down in the middle of the road and cause a big stink. Chickens, goats, people, cars...they would all be pretty mad at the white girl messing up the 'order' of things. ;-)

So, I keep it pretty close to home and have decided to invest in relationships over tasks. I have been visiting neighbors every day and various people have dropped by. Yesterday I made my house helper coffee. She had never had coffee before. Now, remember, she is the one who NEVER hides her true feelings. (Its one thing I love about her). Before she tried the coffee she said "this is the first time I have had coffee" and then after she tried it she said "and the last time...." Now that I am understanding Hindi more, I find it funny that they really do have some of the same sayings as we do. I just laughed and said "its no problem, don't drink it, its ok" But she gagged it down anyway, bless her heart.

In the midst of feeling like a deflated tire, I have been really praying that God would use this time to really show Himself. Last night, I sat with one neighbor and had chai. Our conversations are usually pretty light hearted. But last night, she had a heavy load on her shoulders. Through reddened eyes, she told me that she has had three deaths in her family over the last few months. And she said "and you have had so much trouble too". I had the perfect opportunity to tell her about the One who been with me the entire time, in good times and bad. My prayer is that she would know that I love her. And that Someone else does too.

For His Glory

Today in house fellowship we were talking about all the things we were thankful for. It was encouraging to hear people give credit to God for His working in their lives. I told them that the thing I am most thankful for right now is the spiritual walk I have with Him. I feel like I have been in one long conversation with Him for the past few months. He has been my ever present help during some dark and uncertain moments. I tend to easily thank the Lord for the good things He brings me (i.e. blessings). How often do I slip into the 'man centered theology' of " God will bless me if I am good". Which is just- wrong. The fact is, God is sovereign and He will receive glory. He can and will work in my life however He pleases. So, do I say "if it brings You glory... then, thank you Lord...for the typhoid"? If this is what He has chosen to bring glory to Himself, then yes, I would have to say "thank you for considering me worthy".

I get comment after comment from those who have had typhoid. One lady said it took her a whole year to recover. Another one said her legs stopped working for a long time afterwards. I have heard even more depressing stories as well. So, of course I worry. And yet I woke up this morning with joy in my heart. I would have to say that this only comes from the Lord. Because otherwise, humanly speaking, joy wouldn't make sense. Suffering will happen. I just hope I can suffer well. For His glory.

Delayed Thoughts On New Years

I have just recently seen some photos of friends who looked like they were having fun on New Years. I have always felt a certain pressure about New Years. It comes at the end of a long line of holiday cheer and has always been a bit of a letdown for me. I have had several New Years that have actually been fun. Last year was fun because it was pretty low key and I was about to embark on my adventure overseas. But overall, I would say that New Years has always been slightly disappointing to me. I have always felt that I HAD to have fun and felt lame if I didn't. One year I even spent New Years in the ER with a friend who had fallen off a horse. So as you can see, there is a history of non fun-ness that surrounds this particular holiday. So, I had an epiphany this morning. OF COURSE typhoid would come to me with a vengeance on New Years. I don't think New Years and I have ever had a good relationship. So, I have decided from here on out- I am not putting anymore pressure on myself. If I get sleepy at 1030 and don't wait until midnight to welcome the New Year, then so be it. A liftime of guilt has been lifted.

Mexican Food Snob

Since I am in the big city for doctor appointments, I am taking advantage of its culinary options. There is this Mexican food restaurant here called Sancho's. I have heard mixed reviews. Some people hate it. Others have said "its not too bad". And there are others who seem to like it pretty well. The thing is, I am pretty much a Mexican food snob. I decided to lower my expectations and actually try it out. And I would have to say 'its not too bad'. Yeah they put green olives on my nachos but.... it could be worse. Tonight, the owner proudly came out and offered us a free dessert. A chocolate tamale. He said "this tamale is AUTHENTIC Mexican, have you had ta-mal-es before"? "Oh yeah sure...lots of times..." I said, as my eyes glimmered with a hint of Mexican food snobbery. He quickly changed his tune. "Well, I mean...I sorta made up this recipe...its more of a modern dish... We took a few bites of our chocolate tamale. And it wasn't too bad.

How Did He Do That?

This evening I went for a follow up appointment with the neurologist. Dr V is very kind. He explains things in a soft but professional tone. He takes time out for the little things, like apologizing when he is running late. He uses pictures alot to explain things and makes sure I understand what he is saying . Tonight, he looked deep into my eyes with his ophthalmoscope and told me that my brain was looking better. ;-) The medicine is slowly working and he wants to try to increase the dose over the next few weeks. I wanted him to clearly understand that I really don't like the side effects of the medicine. Oh dear...I am such a 3 year old sometimes....

Dr V responded in such a sweet way, I didn't even take offense. He basically said "you want the side effects or the alternatives (which are worse)"? He basically told me to get over it! He was so sweet about it I didn't know what hit me. I walked out of the office liking him even more. How did he do that?

Early Birthday

The ladies up here all happen to have Feb birthdays. Although, mine doesn't come for another few weeks, we decided to go ahead and celebrate all together. The cake itself turned out to be pretty good. It tasted like tiramisu.

The February girls

Time to blow out the candle-yes...just the one candle. We only had the number '8' as a candle so we just had to roll with the punches. ;-)

The lovely folks I am staying with. They have been friends from the very beginning and have been helping me recover from the 'phoid.

Streams In The Desert

I have been finding a lot of encouragement in the devo called Streams In The Desert. Here is an exert that has particularly been meaningful.

Here is the divine secret of the Divine all- sufficiency- to come to the end of everything in ourselves and in our circumstances. When we reach this place, we will stop asking for sympathy because of our hard situation or bad treatment, for we will recognize these things as the very conditions of our blessing, and we will recognize these things as the very conditions of our blessing, and we will turn from them to God and find them a claim upon Him.

George Matheson, a well known blind pastor from Scotland, said "My God, I have never thanked You for my thorn. I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but not once for my thorn. I have been looking forward to a world where I will get compensation for my cross, but I have never thought of my cross as itself a present glory. Teach me the glory of my cross, teach me the value of my thorn. Show me that I have climbed to You by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made rainbows".

A Small Victory

Today I rustled up enough energy to take a walk by myself. I wanted to get out and about in the community. I literally I have not been able to do this in months and was missing it. So, I set out in the morning, when my energy is at its peak. I went out in search of a press wala (someone to iron my clothes) I didn't really "need" a press wala but it was a good excuse to get outside and practice Hindi. It turns out, I met up with some midwives who run a small clinic close by Hannah's house. They smiled at me... totally having "yes" faces. One of them took me straight to a press wala and we comfortably chatted as we walked. I told her I was a nurse in America and she was super excited about that. I ended up getting a little tour of the clinic. The entire adventure took 45 minutes. I was WORN out. At first I was disappointed that I got tired so quickly. But then, I decided to count it as a small victory instead of a defeat. Hannah came back with me later that day and we had the chance to see a new born baby. Its getting better.

Life On The Other Side Of The Mountain

Below are some pictures of the area I am staying at right now. I must admit, I did not take these pictures but they capture the beauty of this place. The monkeys scare me a little bit and they poop on the porch. But overall, its really a peaceful place. I found a toy auto rickshaw in the market today so here I am showing it off.

p.s. update- I was taking too high of a dose of the brain medicine so that's why I was having all those weird symptoms. That's so not cool...I mean..at least having typhoid seemed...exotic...but taking too much brain medicine???

God And 911

Just recently, the doctor increased the dose of my brain swelling medicine. I have been calling them my "brain swole" pills. At first the side effects are just yucky but as the days have passed, I have kinda settled into a new normal. Well, yesterday, I just started having weirdo side effects again. My hands and feet are tingling. I am getting leg cramps. My face broke out in a rash. My eyes started twitching. Stuff like that. I looked it up on the Internet and it said " if you get numbness and tingling in your hands, feet, have leg cramps, or get a rash, contact your doctor immediately" So, I was left with the question 'should I take the next dose'? or 'should I wait it out until morning. But if I wait it out, will my brain start swelling again??? There is no urgent care center here. There is no 911. I started thinking about how nice it is in the States to have 911, to have excellent medical advice at our fingertips. We trust in God.... AND call 911. I told Hannah the other day "wow, we really at the mercy of the Lord". And she reminded me that even in the States, He is still as sovereign. Its just that its easier to forgot because there are so many "saftey nets" built into American society. Fortified bread. Seat belts. And I for one and THANKFUL for all of these things. But I guess I didn't realize that I had placed part of my hope and trust in them. I trusted God AND.... And in this situation, the familiar saftety nets are gone. Typhoid is just still so unknown to me. (Is it SO...1880's). And we tend to fear the unknown. So, I continue, as always, in this mixture of fear and trust, laughter and tears, doubt and hope. I am reminded of that line in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe where they say "whoever said "anything about Aslan being safe??... But He is good".

Monkeys On The Porch And Other Happenings

Since I have been staying in different places other than my actual apartment over this past month, I have had to get used to the various sounds and happenings that occur. If I were back in M Town, I would be hearing my downstairs neighbor's voice jabbering in Hindi. Or I might hear the subsi walla call out "califlowerrrr....potatoes...." in that sing song voice they do. Its similar to "get your peanuts...your hot fresh peanuts....." at baseball games. Or I might be hearing the boys outside playing cricket in the street.

When I was in the capital city, I had to get used to ALL sorts of different noises. While in the hospital, they would come in at 4am and want to change my sheets and freshen me up before the doctors came into see me. In a daze I would say "abee nahee...abee nahee...." (not right now, not right now) At first, they would fight with me. But when they would argue, I would just quickly disappear behind a cloud of sleep and leave them there just talking to themselves. After awhile, they got the message and started to just quietly put the sheets on the shelve so I could do it later.

When I got done with my hospital stays, I went back to my coworkers house. Their house is very close to a school. In the early mornings, I would hear this beautiful voice sing an unknown melody that would lull me back to sleep. I found out later that every morning, this school has an assembly for the kids and sometimes this woman will sing to them. Ah... what a nice idea! I think the 3rd grade would have had more charm to it if we had a lady with a beautiful voice sing to us every morning. When I think of the 3rd grade, I think of.... milk cartons.

So, now I am up here in the mountains. And its pretty quiet overall. However, at times, I hear what sounds like thunder. But in reality, there are monkeys on the roof. One morning, we were sitting out on the porch, enjoying the sun. Then I heard the thunder. I looked up at the roof. And this huge mean- looking monkey was staring at me. I reacted in a very brave manner...I screamed the "man scream" (as my friends back home have dubbed it) and ran inside. In the meantime, the monkey had jumped ONTO the porch and was just sitting on the railing. He had a "I don't care" attitude about the whole thing. I said yesterday "its almost as if they think we are on their turf" and Hannah said "I think we ARE"

I have gotten to see and experience new things, even in this month of convalescence. Life is never boring, that's for sure.