Funny Signs

things NOT to do inside of a van

that means they eat meat

Don't want to overwork yourself there....

well...since you asked nicely....

Quite On The Set!

So, most of what I do is not really photo interesting. I am not normally jumping off cliffs (although it does seem like it at times) so I don't take tons of pictures. But in another way, the work IS exciting. Because people are learning and receiving His Word. This week we are working on getting professional recordings of the stories that we have been learning over these past several months. Here is a picture of some of our equipment.

And our superstar Nina- master story teller. That's our makeshift sound studio in the background.

Nina taking a short break in between stories.

And our super smart, totally cool sound guy. With a touch of a button he can work miracles.

What Will Bring Glory?

Honestly, these verses at the end of Matthew have been haunting me.

"when I was thirsty...you gave me a drink of water".
"when I was hungry...you gave me something to eat"
"when I was in jail...you came to visit me"

I read statements about giving to the poor, being the Body, etc etc and the guilt just gets heavier and heavier on my shoulders. But as a song often reminds me "the weight of the world, is on the wrong shoulders. Why do I think that my back is the place for this load"?

What do I do when they are ALL hungry? What do I do when they are ALL in need? Should I just buy down to the street? I read stories about Hudson Taylor or Amy Carmichael and it just adds to the burden. I feel resentful. I feel selfish. I can't even cry about it because if I start crying, someone always has a story harder than mine. So I just sink into a pit of despair. I want to retreat.

However, a comment a dear friend made yesterday got me thinking. She said "Jesus said, the least of my BRETHREN". Oh...his brothers.... So, that made me decide to really read and study this passage that has been haunting me. Hum...novel idea...

So yesterday I took the time and really read that passage. And I was reminded of a few things. For one, its talking about the end times. For two, alot of scholars say that the "brethren" referred to here is probably Jewish people who turn toward Him during that time on earth. For three, JC won't ever tell me "depart from me, I never knew you" Oh I KNOW He knows me. But the thing is, when we do righteous acts, we don't necessarily FEEL righteous. In the passage, the righteous ask him "WHEN did we give you water, etc". That means, they didn't even know what they were doing! Oh...so our feeling don't particularly have anything to do with it...

Relief and freedom filled my heart. Oh good...I am not SUPPOSE to know what I am doing. It helped put things into perspective. I am suppose to give if that means it brings glory to His name. That means I can say no to the random beggars. I can pray for them of course. But I don't have to necessarily buy down to the street unless that is what the Lord calls me to do.

Yesterday, I was sitting with my friend Baby (the one who had the accident). Her face looks good. Her eyes look bright.And you know what she said? She didn't say "oh Cathy, you are awesomely awesome". She said "I give praise to the Lord for His work in my life". And in that moment, I felt the pleasure of God.

What am I suppose to in every situation? I am not quite sure and probably never will be. But I know that I can take a deep breath, press into the hardness of it instead of running away and ask myself "what will bring glory to His name"?

Thoughts On Food

There is a discipline here that is practiced more than in the States. And that is the discipline of fasting and praying. No matter what religion you follow, it always seems that people fast and pray on certain days.

I also have heard many sermons on Jesus being the Bread of Life here. Back home, I don't think I have ever heard a sermon preached entirely on that subject even ONE time.

There are also alot of rules about eating. 1)You can't really outright say you are hungry. 2)You can't say "yes" the first time something is offered. 3)Its rude to eat in front of someone else unless they are eating too.4) You are not suppose to eat and worship God at the same time. 5)You are suppose to drink your piping hot chai really really fast. 6) If you are with a group in public and you buy a snack, you have to share with everyone ( Kindergarten 101).And the list goes on.....

This past Sunday, I was at my driver's family's house for lunch. I was really hungry but of course didn't say anything. But this family knows me fairly well so they could see it in my eyes- I was starving! "Take coffee, take chips, take snacks" they kept prompting me. Its shameful for a guest to go hungry. (oh yet another rule)

"Oh my gosh, no way! I am not going to spoil my appetite on snacks when I know some YUMMY food is coming", I told them.

They were amazed at my control. Food is just SUCH a big subject of discussion here. And I know that food is a big deal in the States. But its a different sort of big deal.

I was thinking to myself "why is it such a big deal to go without food"? I guess you can tell alot about a culture from what teaching gets emphasized. Things like personal quite time and being purpose driven and effective gets emphasized in the States. Whereas Jesus being the Bread of Life and fasting with prayer gets emphasized here.

And its not a big deal for me to go without food...because I have never HAD to go without. No matter how bad things could get, there was always food on the table. But these followers have probably all had times in their lives where they went to bed with hungry stomachs. So to CHOOSE to go without food is a big deal for them. Its a huge act of devotion. Of course JC is their Bread of Life. Because He very literally is their BREAD OF LIFE on some days.

I guess I start thinking that I must know alot about God. But He keeps disturbing me. He keeps not fitting in my box. He keeps teaching me.

Today Was A Little Weird

Today was a very pleasant sunny day. I sat with my friend N and we worked on recording some stories. I am trying to get her used to using a recorder. She fed me lunch, I played with her kids, she made some chai.... you know...the usual.

She had invited some of her neighbors to our storying group this previous Sat. I wanted to visit her neighbors to get to know them better. So I said "HEY...N...lets go visit your neighbors before I go home". A basic enough thing. I have been in countless homes. I have sat on countless roof tops. I have drank countless cups of chai.

As I entered the home of the neighbors, the man of the house was laying on a blanket. He was surrounded by about 4-5 women. He propped himself up on his arms. This man has been suffering from demonic fits for about 12 years. He wanted prayer. I prayed out loud "God, I don't have much faith. But I know that you have the power to heal this man. I know you can do it so that's what I ask for in Your Name". As I was praying, I started shaking uncontrollably. It didn't scare me really. I just thought it was strange. N asked me "Didi, why are you shaking"?

"I really have no idea", I told her.

As I rode home, I started thinking about all the scientific reasons I would shake like that. Was I hungry? No, I just had lunch. Was I low on blood sugar? No, I just drank a cup of chai saturated with sugar. Was it the fact that I was praying for a man who might be possessed? For the first time in my life, that seemed to be the most realistic answer.

I called a coworker because 1) I think that he should be the one to caste out a potential demon. 2) he has been here longer than me 3) I am a weeny. As I told my coworker what had just happened he responded "yeah, stuff like that happens all the time, I'm glad it happened to you actually, its good for ya"

" Well....thanks buddy...."

I mean, I knew what he was trying to say. But still...today was a little weird.

Updated

I just wanted to give an update about my friend Baby. After weeks of continued bleeding, I decided to majorly intervene and bring her into the capital city. I had her see my personal doctor. And within a day they got a diagnosis- her face is fractured! There is nothing we can do really at this point. The bones have already started to reset. We just have to work on getting her diet better so she can heal. I bought her a large can of Ensure and helped her sort through all of her medicines she is taking. Of course there is so much more that I could have done. It makes me sad and angry that people are such victims of their circumstances. In the States, even the poorest of poor could get their face fixed if a tree fell on them!

But when it comes down to it, its Baby's heart I am most concerned about. We spent the day reading words of Truth to her. She verbalized "We have JC, we have His Story" Really, I think this is the first big struggle she has had as a follower. She is having to face the hard truth that sometimes life don't go exactly our way. I am sure she might be slightly annoyed if I told her "its actually good that this happened, it'll make you stronger" But i know that wouldn't be the smartest thing to say. :) Thanks for lifting her up!

Lowering My Expectations

I had a wise coworker tell me once "lower your expectations". At first, I thought it sounded like odd advice. But as time has passed, I see how true his words really are.

Lower my expectations. That means be ok with the dirt that constantly clings to my walls and ceilings. Leave the dishes for the morning. I could spend my entire life trying to clean.


Lower my expectations.That means that sometimes circumstances in life will be hard and just plain disappointing. But short term circumstances provide a poor measurement of the long term character of God.


Lower my expectations. That means be ok with the fact that I don't speak perfect Hindi by now. I will continue to stumble over my words. Some people will continue to think I am not very intelligent. I need to think about what I CAN say, not dwell on what I can't.

Lower my expectations. That means-stop dwelling on what I think I can accomplish for God. He doesn't actually NEED me. His primary concern is to show His glory in my life and amoung the nations. Busy-ness is not actually a spiritual dicipline. Just pray and wait for Him to tell me what to do next.

Lower my expectations. That means- being ok that I am just not as young as I was. My hands are getting wrinkly and there always seems to be dirt underneath my finger nails. Stop trying to find a different haircut to make myself feel prettier. Stop worrying about how much weight I have gained or lost. Be happy that the Lord is redeeming my heart.

Lower my expectations. That means- of other people too. Let them off the hook. Other people have bad days too. Why do I always want mercy for myself but justice for others? Show more grace.

So, in these final months, I am choosing to lower my expectations. Living life in the moment, letting Him take care of the rest.