Hiding on the Floorboard

I have had a quite morning. I am back in India now, with my medical records from Thailand in hand. Its in the quite moments that I often still feel afraid. Being afraid of the quite seems to be a fear we pick up as adults. I don't know of any kid who starts crying at quite. Its usually the loud sounds that scare the little ones. I used to be afraid of drive-thru car washes because of all the strange gurgles and noises it would make. It made me feel uncertain. I didn't know what would happen next. I would try to hide under the seats of the car until it was over.

This morning I just feel like hiding on the floorboard. It hurts me that I am now known as the "the one who had typhoid". It doesn't seem to be very attractive. Its a bit boring actually. And its not always clear to me where He is at in all of this.

But I was reading in OS Chambers this morning. He was talking about the verse in 2 Cor. that says "we walk by faith, not by sight". He says "for awhile, we are fully aware of God's concern for us. But then, when God begins to use us in His work, we begin to take on a pitiful look and talk only of our trials and difficulties. And all the while God is trying to make us do our work as hidden people who are not in the spotlight. None of us would be hidden spiritually if we could help it".

And it really just helped me to put things in perspective. He calls His children to walk by faith. Of course there are times when He does give divine moments of inspiration and insight. Often times though, He shows up in the mundane places- like car washes. And when I am down on the floorboard, I can say to Him "hey, what you are doing down here? You've been here the whole time, haven't ya'?