Like A Pot of Beans

I know that my story is not really different from anyone else's. I know that my fellow coworkers have gone through equal if not harder times in their lives. And I look at their faith. I look at them standing in the midst of trials and disappointments. Sometimes I notice that their legs are shaking but they are standing nonetheless. Just average people who are choosing to follow Him. And its really quite remarkable.

Over the course of the several past months, I have been walking through some hurts and disappointments. You know how it goes. Things just build up. A harsh critism. A national friend who has taken advantage. An elderly widow who has been abused.

And I tend to behave like a pressure cooker. A pressure cooker works by building up pressure from steam in the pot, which cooks food at a very high temperature. The pressure is released from a safety valve on top of the pot.

And just like a pot of beans, pressure builds up up over time and eventually my safety valve goes off. On Saturday morning, I reached that point. Of course I never choose to break down on a day when I have nothing to do. Why can't I choose a day when doesn't matter that I have a big ugly cry? I broke down on the morning that I was sceduled to lead a storying group. Great timing. I cried knowing that I would have to pull myself together soon.

One by one I listed my hurts to the Lord. Please...just fix it. I asked Him. Of course things are not fixed. But I rest knowing that my hurt lies in His hands. Pressure released.

I was reminded of one of my favorite verses in Psalms "he who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him".