So, I don't really know how people grieve here. I am in uncharted territory. Back home, I could understand more of the unspoken. But here...its just very difficult. In this society, I have learned that you don't really directly mention things like death, pregnancy, sickness..or suicide.
This evening, my sweet neighbor Mindy approached me. And this was our conversation
Her: " You have those photos from New Years"?
Me: "yeah"
Her: "Can I see them'?
Me: "sure, right now?"
Her: "well..no...its night time....and I am alone . Can we look at them together, tomorrow"?
Me: "of course"
Her (gives an upward silence glance towards the now empty apartment where L lived)
A very strange conversation indeed. But here is what I think she might be saying
Hey, you have those photos from New Years? Because those were some of the last photos ever taken of her. And I want to look at them because I want to remember. But I am scared to look. I don't want to do this alone. And its night time and the evil spirits are awake so I have much to fear. Can you sit with me tomorrow? She was my friend, I can't believe she is gone.
So many things I face are not black and white. Continue to pray as I navigate the gray.
3 comments:
hmmmm, that's tough. And insightful of you to pick up on. Does being from another culture allow you the ability to ask questions/share observations about their culture innocently?? "I've noticed that ____. Do you notice it, too? Why is it?" Don't know... just wondering. You're doing a fantastic job there. You are a bright, brilliant light in darkness, my friend. Love you and MISS you!!!
Wow, that conversation sounds really, really heavy, Cathy. I've been thinking of you since I read your first post about this loss. And lifting you up to our Dad. I'm so thankful that you had time to retreat to the little mountain village. I will continue to be on my knees for you, my friend. I know that He is using you. I'm thankful that you felt/feel His love. I'm holding this end of the rope, honey. Love and miss you a TON! xo
Good way of putting it..
And that's the real "umph" of working into a culture.. is the gray..
the masses and masses of gray.
Keep at it.
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