When I Was Young

This weekend I had some free time. So, I decided to go visit one of my best friends in nearby Lynchberg. Amy and I have been friends since the 4th grade. She loved me when I looked like this....she is a true friend. I walked into her living room on Friday night and it seemed like all the time and distance between us just melted away in an instant. I love Amy for the truth and love that she speaks into my life. I love her for the fact we never have to explain ourselves to each other. And I love her because I think she gave me the big red cowboy hat I am wearing in this picture....j/k. It was nice just being able to hang out with her and her husband, who feels like a brother to me. It was a breath of fresh air for me and I was thankful that I had the opportunity.

His Glory Is My Reward

Today marks the one week point of being at boot camp. I got off to a rough start but I have been surrounded by God's grace and sweet friends to help me along the way. I am finding myself being SO introverted as my mind is trying to absorb the information being thrown at me. After each day is done, I scurry back to my room. I even hid my head underneath the covers one day...I felt like I was 5 years old again.... But with my introversion, I also have had more time to spend in the presence of God. And it has been pretty amazing.

Part of my day consisted of the Malaria/Japanese Encephalitis/Dengue Fever speech. Words like "hemorrhagic fever" and "night sweats" out of the speaker's mouth. I leaned over to my friend and said "what in the heck did we get ourselves into"? We both just doubled over in silent laughter.....I think we both had just reached our limit.

But my favorite quote from day sums its up. "Its all about obedience, suffering is expected, His glory is my reward" And those are the words that will be on my lips as I lay down to rest.

And You Said "I AM"

Yesterday was my second day of classes and I finished it in tears. I know what you are thinking "But Cathy, you usually have emotions of pure steel" but its true...I just broke down the second day. Ok ok... I was tired and have a cold so that made it worse. But yesterday was just a heavy day. I was hit with all of my worst weaknesses and fears. I don't know if was Satan's attack or the Lord molding me or just my own sin. All I know is that I walked back to my room at night hiding my face in my scarf.

In the Lord's great timing, today was the day of spiritual retreat. When I looked at the schedule today, I thought "oh man, why can't we just talk about finances today??" But of course, He had other plans. We had about 3 hours where we just had time to spend with Him. I was reminded that He does not condemn us. I had a time of repentance. I had a time of just listening. At one point, I listed out to God how I was not equipped. Oh Lord I'm not... And He said "Yes but Cathy, I AM" I take a deep breath...whew...yeah... He IS.

My Only Hope

I am sitting in another hotel room. I dropped my dad off at the airport early this morning. I am hanging out the hotel room for the morning and then heading out to Rockville. That is the location of the training center-way out in the country. People joke around with me that it sounds like I am going into some sort of commune. Oh man..I think I forgot to pack my nun outfit.

Since I had to get up early this morning, I had the chance to have a nice long time with the Lord. I listened to music, read, and prayed. I am so thankful that I have access to an intimate, abiding relationship with the living God.

I can get as many degrees as I want to. I can strive to make people laugh. I can stop to feed the homeless on the way to donating blood for the victims of war torn Africa. But when it comes down to it, nothing... absolutely nothing matters except to know Him and to dwell in His presence. He doesn't disappoint. He is my hope, my only hope.

John Wayne and Old Bottles of Lotion

So I packed up my trunk and my dad and I are headed to Virginia. He wanted to help drive me so that I will have my car during my two months of "boot camp" as he calls it.We left a few days early to visit an aunt in Wadesburo, North Carolina. This is the location I am currently writing from. We are staying in a shady hotel at the edge of town. The hot water works but only if you turn it on from underneath the sink. Rusty stains line the bathtub and despite the 40 degree weather... the heater doesn't work and there is no blanket on my bed. My dad is apologetic but I remind him that its only preparing me for what is ahead.

I am so glad I am going on this road trip with my dad. We are sharing the driving responsibilities but more importantly we are creating memories. He talks to me about politics, family, life and John Wayne. I read to him random facts about the cities that we are passing through and try to explain to him the marvels of my Ipod.

We have this family tradition of singing 'The Battle of New Orleans" every time we cross the Mississippi River. As we approached the Mississippi, with childlike glee, I ask "are we going to sing it??" Dad knows what I am talking about. In off -key unison we start singing 'in 1814 we took a little trip, along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip...." And my dad tells the same joke that he has always told...how do you spell Mississippi with one i? He then covers up one of his eyes and starts spelling "M-I-S-S-I..."

We get to my aunt's house and she has a great home cooked meal for us. I haven't seen her in several years. I sit on her coach and listen to her chat about her kids, her disappointments and her jewelry. She gives me a left over bottle of lotion because she is afraid I won't be able to get any of that overseas. I hide my smile and I thank her for her thoughtfulness.

As the day ends, I feel content. I am thankful. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Disturb Us O Lord

"Disturb us, Lord, when we are well pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little, when we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land we shall find stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; and you to push in the future in strength,courage,hope and love" Sir Francis Drake


I spent a good portion of the day today with a lovely friend from church. I was sad to leave her. It hurt my heart when I realized how much I would miss her. I asked God "is this your will for me?" Its interesting... at the first of hint of pain, I would ask that. Of course I knew the answer even before I finished the question. I am so thickly wrapped in my soft and padded life. I wish to feast with Him but I also must be willing to fast with Him.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the movie Steel Magnolias. Julia Roberts plays the part of a diabetic woman who longs to have a baby, despite the risk. Her mother scolds her for having such a dream and Julia says "I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a whole lifetime of nothing special". That goes the same for me. I would rather have 30 minutes of living with reckless abandon, forsaking it all for the cross... which will lead to some pain... than a whole lifetime of nothing special

God's Grace

As I go through this transition, in my life, I have really tried to cherish each moment that the Lord brings me. I try not to think too much about the past or the future but instead I am just praying that I can live in the present for now. Every conversation I have, I think "well, this could be the last time I talk to this person..." so I really try to listen to what they are saying. Its kinda been a nice way to live life. I keep seeing sprinkles of God's grace all over the place.

I was taking a trip out to West Texas to see a friend. I had the chance to witness a West Texas sunset. The smell of oil crept into my car as Willie Nelson sang on the radio. My eyes were watering as I was facing the sun, trying to stay on the road. And I had the chance to see the sun go down. West Texas is full of wide open spaces and so the sunsets out there are quite amazing. And I was reminded that God is Creator of the sunset.

I am spending alot of time with my 6 year old niece. We are great buddies and I will be very sad to leave her. She is turning into a fabulous kid with wisdom beyond her years. Echos of her are all over my life and my heart. And I am reminded that echos of God's love are all over my life as well.

A friend of our family was in a terrible car accident back in May. He has had a long recovery but his faith has been an encouragement to me. I sat and listened to him play the piano this morning as his raspy voice barely sang "He helps me get through the day". It is a simple chorus but the truth of his words really touched my heart. Because very literally, He has helped my friend get through the difficult minutes of his days. And I am reminded of God as Healer, as the Keeper of our days.

I sat with a friend from high school and we looked through old pictures. We laughed at old stories and old memories. I cannot believe the clothes I used to wear. I was NOT cool. But my friend loved me anyway and still loves me. And I am reminded of God's goodness in my life to give me friends like her.

I sat with a cherished relative who is a dark place in her life right now and is in poor physical health. She told me honestly that she was scared and I didn't have much to say to her in response. And I was reminded of God as Sustainer...when we get to the end of our day...He is all we have left.

Creator..Love...Healer...Keeper of Our Days...Goodness...Sustainer...all sprinkles of God's grace