Since I am essentially bound to the house these days, I was really afraid that I would get awful bored at the fact that my world has suddenly gotten very "small". I have been forced to stop. "Don't you need me God"? I want to pray as I occasionally still get annoyed that I would have typhoid in the first place. Of course I know the answer. And so I wait. Because of my current status, I turn to other things that I really enjoy but usually don't have time for.
I love to read. I could sit for hours in a comfy chair and be the slayer of dragons, walk through the mountains of Europe or even be back in Texas for awhile. Even with fiction, I still learn things about the world I am living in. And so I read.
I also really love to study His Word in an exposition kind of way. Going verse by verse, I like savor each bit of wisdom that He has for us. I like to look at the history, context and read about the people that the book was intended for. Being in seminary, I was forced to this. But now I WANT to do this and have longed to really dwell for long periods of time on His sweet Word. And so I study.
Of course I know about the importance of prayer but here lately, I am desperate about it. It is our lifeline. My heart is more sensitive to the needs around me. I pray for Haiti. I pray for South Asia. I pray for my friends and family who are going through their own trials. I rejoice when they rejoice and cry when they cry. Its like I feel things more. I mean it more when I tell someone "I pray for you". Its true that He takes us through heartache so that we can help others in theirs. And so I pray.
I also really like to listen to music. Familiar songs have a different meaning for me now. I am not doing too well with communication these days. So, music helps me verbalize what I can't put into words. I can't seem to keep up with conversations so well. So, I am quite a lot. The world keeps going at a fast pace even though I have slowed down. And so I listen.
So maybe reading, praying, studying, listening is what He has for me now. And maybe my world is not so small after all.
2 comments:
great thoughts cathy! as john piper says "don't waste your illness" and it sounds like you haven't--good exhortation and example for all of us!
I love this post. I know I don't comment often, but have been keeping up with your blog. It is cool because I am learning a lot about prayer right now too, and it is hard to put into words- but truly, I am praying for you my friend.
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