Worries

I thought I would be going home today. But I had some abnormal test results and so I must stay. Friends have been so wonderful here. I have had someone with me almost every second of the day. My heart fills with gratitude at the kindness that has been shown. However, this afternoon, I have been left alone for a few hours. I have appreciated the time to think my thoughts.

They came with a wheelchair to take me to get an MRI. My heart raced as memory of a previous MRI experience came to me. "Sister"...I tried to say "I am a bit claustrophobic you see...and..." My request didn't translate. I felt small and alone as they wheeled me down the cold hallway. When I entered into the MRI room, I tried to make my request known again. "Sir...please..I feel anxious..you see..I don't like small...."

Please lay down, takes 20 minutes, he interrupted.

As I laid on the narrow table, my mind ran wild with worry..... I felt so far from home.

My dad laughs because I am reminded often of an experience I had in childhood. We used to go for Sunday afternoon horseback rides. And there was this field that we would always have to go across. And as we approached this field, my throat would go dry and my hands would start to sweat. I KNEW what was coming....dogs! Every time we would cross this particular field, these pesky dogs would come up and nip at our heals making both the horses and me jittery. I would naturally just want to turn my tail and run. But my dad would say " Cathy, you're on a HORSE. He is bigger than the dogs. Turn into them and they will run". And sure enough, I would turn towards those dogs and they would start running. I would always forget the power that was available to me.

I laughed as I laid on that MRI table. My worries, just like those dogs, were getting the best of me. And I was forgetting the Power that was available to me. My dad's words came to me.."Cathy..you're on a horse...." And in that moment, I turned to my heavenly Father, the One who gives me strength. And the dogs ran.